I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Randomize
