just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
