How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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