we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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