do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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