i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize