Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
