Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
