Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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