I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
