it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
