Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize