I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
