All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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