so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
