if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
