you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Randomize
