the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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