I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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