Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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