I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
