i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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