i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
