Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
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