Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
