he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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