mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
