I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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