i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
