Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize
