# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Randomize