Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
