take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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