I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
