I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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