At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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