he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
