I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
