I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
