Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
