Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
