Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
He passed out mid-signature
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
