Got a toothbrush?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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