is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Randomize
