My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
how drunk are you?
Several
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
