True but thats because hes a fetus.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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