i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
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