i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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