Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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