just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
