I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Church boner. Awkwardddd
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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