so explain again why im purple
no
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
