i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
