we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
