I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
