I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
