i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
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