2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
