I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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