I'm drive I can fine osifer
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
