I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize