Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
ugly people sure do ruin things
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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