I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
