So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
