Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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