covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
