At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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