Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I have already put on my inside pants.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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